“I really feel so glad that I came here.”
Ms. Noge quietly shared these words just after completing her retreat.
At nehan, we use a breathing technique called “Theta Breathing” combined with neurosensory music to gently guide retreat participants into altered states of consciousness. The sensations and insights that emerge are unique to each person—no two stories are ever the same.
Here, we trace Shoko Noge’s journey through her retreat experience.
Arriving at nehan Without Knowing Anything
Noge
At first, I really didn’t know anything. The person who introduced me just said, “This will truly change your life” and “Don’t research anything, just come.” So I came here wondering what we were even going to do.
With more confusion than expectation, the program began.
Like many participants, Ms. Noge entered the space without “answers,” simply allowing herself to be present.
Noge
When they told us we’d be doing breathwork, I was like, “Huh?” (laughs)
First Breathwork Experience and the Body’s Response
At nehan, we combine specialized neurosensory music that shifts brainwave patterns with our unique Theta Breathing technique to naturally guide participants into meditative states.
In these states, emotions and memories stored deep in the unconscious can gently surface, creating opportunities for profound insights and inner transformation.
Following the guidance with some skepticism, Ms. Noge deepened her breathing, and a distinct physical change occurred.
Noge
When I tried it, my hands started tingling just like they said they would. I wondered what was happening and felt a little scared.
This hand tingling is a physiological response caused by hyperventilation, which reduces carbon dioxide in the blood and makes it more alkaline. Blood vessels temporarily constrict and nerves become excited, causing what’s called tetany—tingling and muscle tension. At nehan, we explain these responses beforehand, and our facilitators and staff continuously monitor each participant’s condition throughout the program.
Still, Ms. Noge searched for her own purpose, thinking, “Since I came all this way.”
Noge
Since I was here, I thought I should create some kind of intention, so I said I wanted to graduate from this easily irritated version of myself.
Yet the more she tried to focus on that intention, the less her heart responded.
Noge
The more I thought about it, the worse it got (laughs). So I decided to set all those thoughts aside and just fully commit to the experience.
When she loosened her need to control, the next door opened.
“So This Was Connected”
In the altered states of consciousness guided by specialized breathing and sound, emotions and memories that are usually difficult to access can naturally surface.
An unexpected experience arrived for Ms. Noge as well.
Noge
Something like a trauma that I truly never could have imagined came up, and I realized, “So this was connected.”
Noge
I don’t think I could have figured it out no matter how much I tried to think it through, and even if I had talked to someone about it, that specific episode would never have emerged from me on its own.
Noge
Something that could never have been connected in my mind suddenly surfaced, and I understood the root cause of the parts of myself I’ve always disliked.
From past experiences, we unconsciously create beliefs about “how things are,” and these can influence how we feel and live today. The time created by breath and music gently turns back the pages of past experiences, connecting them to new understanding.
Maybe I Can Graduate from the Self I Dislike
As the root cause became visible, her inner landscape gradually began to shift.
Noge
I feel like I might be able to start liking myself a little more—like I could graduate from the version of me I dislike and become someone I actually like.
Noge
It’s like this quiet sense of confidence. I felt like the world suddenly looked so much brighter.
The transformation at nehan rarely arrives as dramatic, movie-like events. Instead, it comes as a quiet intuition: “Maybe I’m going to change a little from here on.”
This sensation continues after returning to daily life, gradually shifting how one thinks and relates to others.
Maybe I Can Graduate from the Self I Dislike
Noge
I’m truly so glad I came!
In a place she arrived at knowing nothing, she touched emotions she couldn’t have encountered alone,
and a new sensation began to take root within Ms. Noge.
“Maybe I can graduate from the self I dislike”—
That quiet premonition was the gift she received during these two nights and three days.
