{"id":1393,"date":"2026-02-08T14:33:27","date_gmt":"2026-02-08T05:33:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/?post_type=interview&#038;p=1393"},"modified":"2026-02-08T14:33:28","modified_gmt":"2026-02-08T05:33:28","slug":"narumiyamamoto_en","status":"publish","type":"interview","link":"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/stories\/narumiyamamoto_en\/","title":{"rendered":"Accepting Every Emotion and Realizing &#8220;It&#8217;s Okay to Enjoy Living&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left\">Eight months after her first time, this was Ms. Yamamoto&#8217;s second nehan retreat. In her previous experience, she had gained the feeling that &#8220;it&#8217;s okay to live.&#8221;<br>However, in the days that followed, a slight sense of discomfort began to arise within her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I had come to feel that it&#8217;s okay to be alive, but I also felt a little like I&#8217;d become someone for whom merely being alive was enough. Still, I thought, well, I&#8217;m alive, so that&#8217;s fine.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left\">Over these three days, where she arrived was beyond &#8220;it&#8217;s okay to live&#8221;\u2014a new sensation that &#8220;it&#8217;s okay to enjoy living.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"\u3010\u30ea\u30c8\u30ea\u30fc\u30c8\u4f53\u9a13\u8ac7\u3011\u5c71\u672c\u6210\u7f8e\u3055\u3093\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/opyAIM0VlSw?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\">From Suicidal Ideation to &#8220;It&#8217;s Okay to Live&#8221;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:40px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>For a long time, Ms. Yamamoto had been carrying something deep in her heart.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"interviewer_content\">\n<div class=\"left_content\">\n<img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/02\/\u3010WEB_\u8a71\u8005\u3011\u6210\u7f8e\u3055\u3093.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"180\" height=\"180\" \/>\n<p class=\"name\">Yamamoto<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"right_content\">\n<p>I&#8217;ve always been someone with strong suicidal ideation.<br \/>\nI lived with this feeling of &#8220;I don&#8217;t care if I die anytime; I could just throw away my life.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>While living with that mindset, she first visited nehan eight months ago.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"interviewer_content\">\n<div class=\"left_content\">\n<img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/02\/\u3010WEB_\u8a71\u8005\u3011\u6210\u7f8e\u3055\u3093.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"180\" height=\"180\" \/>\n<p class=\"name\">Yamamoto<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"right_content\">\n<p>When I came here then and did the breathing,<br \/>\nI realized that if &#8220;it&#8217;s okay to die&#8221; exists, then &#8220;it&#8217;s okay to live&#8221; should exist too.<br \/>\nLately I&#8217;ve been experiencing that sense of &#8220;it&#8217;s okay to live.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>If &#8220;it&#8217;s okay to die&#8221; exists, then &#8220;it&#8217;s okay to live&#8221; can exist too.<br>That realization was a major turning point for her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\">What Lay Beyond &#8220;It&#8217;s Okay to Be Alive&#8221;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:40px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Eight months later came her second retreat.<br>Inside Ms. Yamamoto, there seemed to be a slight catch.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"interviewer_content\">\n<div class=\"left_content\">\n<img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/02\/\u3010WEB_\u8a71\u8005\u3011\u6210\u7f8e\u3055\u3093.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"180\" height=\"180\" \/>\n<p class=\"name\">Yamamoto<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"right_content\">\n<p>I had reached the point of feeling it&#8217;s okay to be alive,<br \/>\nbut I also felt a little like I&#8217;d become someone for whom just that was enough.<br \/>\nStill, I thought, well, I&#8217;m alive, so that&#8217;s good enough.<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Feeling that &#8220;it&#8217;s okay to live&#8221; is certainly important in life.<br>Yet she began to quietly wonder within herself\u2014is that really all there is?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\">Within &#8220;Enjoying,&#8221; Everything Is Included<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:40px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Through the three-day retreat, one particular sensation began to arise within her.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"interviewer_content\">\n<div class=\"left_content\">\n<img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/02\/\u3010WEB_\u8a71\u8005\u3011\u6210\u7f8e\u3055\u3093.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"180\" height=\"180\" \/>\n<p class=\"name\">Yamamoto<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"right_content\">\n<p>What I ultimately gained through these three days was: &#8220;It&#8217;s okay to enjoy living.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>But it didn&#8217;t mean she should simply seek only &#8220;enjoyable&#8221; experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"interviewer_content\">\n<div class=\"left_content\">\n<img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/02\/\u3010WEB_\u8a71\u8005\u3011\u6210\u7f8e\u3055\u3093.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"180\" height=\"180\" \/>\n<p class=\"name\">Yamamoto<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"right_content\">\n<p>Within that &#8220;enjoying,&#8221; life isn&#8217;t only about things that are fun\u2014<br \/>\nit&#8217;s suffering, anger, sadness, all those struggles that give life its color.<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Joy, sadness, anger, pain\u2014life contains many emotions.<br>To accept them all without denying or suppressing them, simply receiving them as they are.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"interviewer_content\">\n<div class=\"left_content\">\n<img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/02\/\u3010WEB_\u8a71\u8005\u3011\u6210\u7f8e\u3055\u3093.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"180\" height=\"180\" \/>\n<p class=\"name\">Yamamoto<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"right_content\">\n<p>I gained the sensation that it&#8217;s okay to properly digest everything I&#8217;m able to receive within myself\u2014<br \/>\nand enjoy it.<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"interviewer_content\">\n<div class=\"left_content\">\n<img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/02\/\u3010WEB_\u8a71\u8005\u3011\u6210\u7f8e\u3055\u3093.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"180\" height=\"180\" \/>\n<p class=\"name\">Yamamoto<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"right_content\">\n<p>For me, that became quite a significant shift in values.<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s okay to enjoy living&#8221;\u2014these are words of permission that say it&#8217;s alright to savor your existence completely, while accepting the full waves of emotion as they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\">Emotions I Thought Were Small Were Actually Big<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:40px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>During the retreat, there was another unexpected realization.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"interviewer_content\">\n<div class=\"left_content\">\n<img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/02\/\u3010WEB_\u8a71\u8005\u3011\u6210\u7f8e\u3055\u3093.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"180\" height=\"180\" \/>\n<p class=\"name\">Yamamoto<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"right_content\">\n<p>In terms of more common themes, nothing had come up before,<br \/>\nbut this time a lot of family-related issues surfaced.<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"interviewer_content\">\n<div class=\"left_content\">\n<img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/02\/\u3010WEB_\u8a71\u8005\u3011\u6210\u7f8e\u3055\u3093.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"180\" height=\"180\" \/>\n<p class=\"name\">Yamamoto<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"right_content\">\n<p>I realized that, unexpectedly, I still held some traumas toward my mother and father.<br \/>\nIt&#8217;s not that I don&#8217;t love them, but I had feelings like<br \/>\n&#8220;I wanted you to do this,&#8221; &#8220;I wanted you to be that way&#8221; toward them\u2014that was a big realization.<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Looking back now as an adult, those things may seem trivial.<br>Yet the small painful experiences of &#8220;I wish you had done this for me&#8221; in childhood can, without us noticing, become the foundation that shapes who we are today.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"interviewer_content\">\n<div class=\"left_content\">\n<img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/02\/\u3010WEB_\u8a71\u8005\u3011\u6210\u7f8e\u3055\u3093.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"180\" height=\"180\" \/>\n<p class=\"name\">Yamamoto<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"right_content\">\n<p>I had thought they were small things,<br \/>\nbut it turned out those small things were actually quite big.<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Things we overlooked, forgot, or dismissed as trivial\u2014<br>when we realize that they have in fact been influencing how we feel and what we choose, the course of our life can shift dramatically.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"interviewer_content\">\n<div class=\"left_content\">\n<img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/02\/\u3010WEB_\u8a71\u8005\u3011\u6210\u7f8e\u3055\u3093.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"180\" height=\"180\" \/>\n<p class=\"name\">Yamamoto<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"right_content\">\n<p>Just becoming a little aware of that let me focus on how to resolve it,<br \/>\nhow to melt those hardened feelings.<br \/>\nNoticing it was really huge for me.<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/nehan.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/\u3081\u3050\u307f\u3055\u3093\u56de\u96c6\u5408\u5199\u771f\u4fee\u6b63-1024x768.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1230\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\">Becoming a Colorful Vessel<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:40px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>After finishing the retreat, Ms. Yamamoto spoke about her future self this way.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"interviewer_content\">\n<div class=\"left_content\">\n<img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/02\/\u3010WEB_\u8a71\u8005\u3011\u6210\u7f8e\u3055\u3093.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"180\" height=\"180\" \/>\n<p class=\"name\">Yamamoto<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"right_content\">\n<p>Taking all of that into account, when I think about how I want to be in the future,<br \/>\nfirst of all, I want to live joyfully.<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"interviewer_content\">\n<div class=\"left_content\">\n<img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/02\/\u3010WEB_\u8a71\u8005\u3011\u6210\u7f8e\u3055\u3093.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"180\" height=\"180\" \/>\n<p class=\"name\">Yamamoto<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"right_content\">\n<p>To honestly receive every emotion, and to turn my own vessel\u2014<br \/>\nuntil now a plain white vessel\u2014into something more colorful.<br \/>\nI feel like it&#8217;s okay to do that now (laughs).<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:40px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"q_frame q_frame2\"><span class=\"q_frame_label\">POINT<\/span>\n<p data-source-line=\"70-70\">Suffering, joy, sadness, anger\u2014accepting all of these.<br \/>That may be what it truly means to &#8220;enjoy&#8221; life.<\/p>\n<p data-source-line=\"82-82\">From &#8220;it&#8217;s okay to live&#8221; to &#8220;it&#8217;s okay to enjoy living.&#8221;<br \/>With what colors will Ms. Yamamoto&#8217;s vessel be filled from here on?<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"featured_media":1395,"template":"","interview_category":[12],"class_list":["post-1393","interview","type-interview","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","interview_category-soul_stirring_stories"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/interview\/1393","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/interview"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/interview"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1395"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1393"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"interview_category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nehan.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/interview_category?post=1393"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}